Do you feel it?

Today is Imbolc. It holds the first whisper of the coming Spring. It knows the secret that Winter will not stay forever. It is a day for New Beginnings. I'm doing what I can to acknowledge this and look forward. Our ground is covered in snow and ice still but I can see that my Phlox is beginning to perk up. And any day I expect to see the first shoots of my daffodils.

In truth, my head hurts too damn much to type anything that would make any sort of sense. The headache belabored me yesterday evening and last night too. I had a respite from it for most of today, however, it seems it is back now. It is very hard dealing with small children when your head feels like it is ringing and splitting all at once. I just wish it would stop. The pain really is something. Impressive even. I'm going to go take an Excedrin. And hope. Maybe make another pot of coffee. And hope. Try not to imagine all the could be's, yet.

The Wheel of the Year turns once more toward what comes next. I would that it was starting differently for me but it is as it is.
Another Imbolc and I am here to see it - this time with a daughter in my arms. This feels right. I am so grateful for all that I have. I am ready for Spring and to see what it brings us - to see what comes next. And so it turns and turns again...

Not so good

My head hurts today. I took some Advil earlier but it isn't doing much good. I think I need something stronger but I don't have anything stronger. I'm hoping it is just a headache but...

This is where the fear makes its entrance. I'm trying to avoid that road but given the 3 squatters in my brain the fear is actually justified.

My Pollyanna side keeps telling me I have a headache from the wine last night. But I only had 1 glass. And that was with dinner. Not sure it could actually cause a headache today.

Also, my right eye is giving me a lot of problems these days. It has been watery and red and achy since last week. Again, trying to not go down the fear path. But again, knowing that one of those damn squatters has wrapped itself around my right optic nerve isn't doing me any favors either.

So this is all the posting I'm doing today. I'm going to do some laundry and lay down quite a bit. Try resting my mind and my eye.

I'm calling my NS tomorrow. I have to set up my next MRI and appointment to talk over what is happening up there in my head.

I am afraid. But I'm still going to make the phone call.