you just never know

I was sitting in my stylists chair today and she was busy cutting my hair and we were talking. It was a nice day, I had some time away from the kids AND I was having my hair done - something that hasn't happened since last September. I was having a good day. I thought.

And then she asked me about the tumors.

And the healthcare bill.

And I just lost my shit. utterly. sitting there in that chair - sobbing.

I think I'm doing better and that I'm processing things and "moving on" and then it just comes up and smacks me in the face. You ever see those old Tom and Jerry cartoons where one of them would grab a glove and SMACK the other one across the face with it? That's exactly what it felt like.

I don't know if I'm ever really going to come to terms with all of this. I don't even know if it's possible. Maybe the best I can do is just manage it day to day - hour to hour.