Sunday, January 17, 2010

My Soft Place to Land

I got on Facebook today and saw a bijillion and one postings from women about their husbands and how you are supposed to cut and paste it in your update and yada yada ya.

It was a nice sentiment and it got me thinking about my husband.

To say that he is a Good Man just does not cover it.

He is a very Good Man. He works hard every day at his job for too little praise and way too little money. He averages 10 hrs a day at work and another couple when he comes home. Today is Sunday and he is at work again and he will probably be gone at least another eight hours. I miss him.

He is my rock, my safe place, and my shelter against the storm. He is rather quiet compared to me. He listens before he speaks and usually keeps his opinions and thoughts to himself unless expressly asked (haha - I know very unlike me.) I am learning from him.

He is solid. He is unafraid. He is mine. And I know how lucky I am to get to experience this life with him.

Now, this is not to say he is perfect. No one is perfect. He has his quirks and mannerism that bug the ever-lovin shit out of me. But those pale in comparison to his Good. His Good is legion.

He takes care of us; he takes care of me. We know each other at a level I don't think I've experienced with another human that didn't come out of my body.I joke with him that we have some sort of psychic connection but in truth, I swear we do. He always seems to call me exactly when I need to hear his voice. I can be angry at him over something or be sitting here distraught over one or all of the medical stuff with me and he will call at precisely that moment because "he felt like he needed to." It happens all the time and has since we met 7 1/2 years ago.

We met through (I know - shut up.) I had been on that service about 3 weeks when I got an email from him. He said to me that he could say a lot of BS to me about my profile and all that but the truth was he thought I was hot. (lmao) Then he went on to tell me he had just moved to Dallas from Denver and didn't really know anyone yet. Anyway his email to me was so different than most that I got, it was honest, it made me laugh AND he had just moved to town from Denver. All of those things caught me and I hit reply - responded to him that I used to live in Denver and that his email was funny and hit SEND. I hadn't even looked at his profile. He could have been 400 pounds and green for all I knew. I didn't care. I clicked his profile page and I saw his picture. My first thought was 'he has a great smile.' And he does. We talked on the phone for about 3 weeks before we actually met in person. When we did meet it was at a Chili's in Plano, TX and we ate boneless buffalo wings and drank beer. At the bar. We talked for 3 hours. That was a Tuesday. We had another date on Thursday and on Saturday - which happened to be my 30th birthday. I knew by Sunday that I was falling in love with him. Within the month I knew that if he asked me, I would marry him. True story.

We have definitely had our rocky patches but we have come through them. When all of this happened to me this past summer, he never wavered. I've never even seen him look at me differently. He says it has never made any difference to him - how I look now - and I believe him. I am humbled by him and his capacity for love. He does not give himself enough credit on that score. I am not even sure I really understood what it was to love another adult truly until now and until him. I have learned this through his example and through his loving me.

He is my best friend. I have more fun watching football or going through March Madness with him than I do with anyone else. There are so many things about me that he just "gets" like no one else. And the things he doesn't "get" aren't that important anyway.

Mark is not the most vocal person - he doesn't spill his emotional self all over the place. (Again - unlike me - I know.) He keeps most of it inside. But when I need him - he is there: strong, unflinching, and solid. He doesn't try to carry me through this (although he would if need be - but we aren't there yet) instead he walks beside me. He allows me my time and lets me cry, holds me, and hands me tissues. He tells me WE will get through this and says he believes in my strength. Instead of co-dependently trying to fix it for me - he loves me and supports me but allows me to find my own way.

I don't know how I ever got this lucky. I also do not know what I would do without him.

I love you babycakes.

Thank you for your strength and your patience. Thank you for giving me these beautiful kids. Thank you for being a wonderful husband and a great dad - to all 3 of them.

I am so glad you are mine.

Thank you for choosing me.

1 comment:

  1. That was beautiful. <3.

    Glad you found each other.